The best short jokes: guaranteed laughs!
If you are looking for short and funny jokes to tell at a party, at the office or to share with your friends, you are in the right place! Here is a selection of the best short jokes that will guarantee you a maximum of laughs.
Here is a list of 200 short jokes divided into several categories! 😄
Animal jokes 🐶🐱
- Why do fish hate computers? Because they are afraid of viruses!
- What does a snail say when it meets a slug? – Oh no, I forgot my backpack!
- Why do cows close their eyes when they sleep? Because they are counting sheep.
- Why do elephants never tan? Because they already have elephant skin.
- What does one bird say to another? – Shall we fly away?
- Why are ducks always healthy? Because they eat quack-amoles!
- What is the happiest animal? The owl, because it goes "Hoo-hoo" all the time.
- Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
- What's the worst thing for a dog? Not having a nose for a good deal!
- What is the most hated bird in computers? The hacker-woodpecker!
Jokes about children 👶
- Why are babies never tired? Because they sleep like logs!
- Why don't peas ever laugh? Because they're always in their pod!
- What do you call a crying baby elephant? A ghost!
- Why do kids wear sunglasses for breakfast? Because milk is dazzling!
- What's the worst thing about a pencil? Losing the lead!
School jokes 📚
- Why is math sad? Because it has too many problems.
- Why was the music teacher fired? Because he gave too many wrong notes!
- Why is the math book always depressed? Because he has too many problems!
- What is the worst thing for a French teacher? Not being able to conjugate the verb "aimer".
- Why did the pen go to jail? Because he was accused of writing false testimony.
Food Jokes 🍕
- Why is bread always calm? Because it has crumb in it.
- What is the ghosts' favorite dessert? Boo-flan!
- Why does the strawberry never talk to other fruits? Because it is always in a hurry.
- What does a tomato say when it runs after another tomato? – Ketchup!
- Why does the lemon get a bad grade in school? Because he was in too much of a hurry.
Jokes about everyday life 😆
- Why does the phone never have any secrets? Because it always goes on speakerphone.
- Why do socks disappear in the washing machine? Because they're going on a secret mission.
- What does one wall say to another wall? – Meet me at the corner.
- Why are clocks always on time? Because they don't want to lose the watch.
- Why don't doors ever go to the movies? Because they're afraid of being slapped.
Absurd jokes 🤪
- Why do divers always dive backwards and never forwards? Because otherwise they fall into the boat.
- Why do divers dive with only one fin? Because if they had two, they would be skiing.
- Why don't lamps ever go to nightclubs? Because they're afraid of being lit!
- Why is the ghost bad at sports? Because he only runs through obstacles!
- Why do cowboys always wear hats? To hide their lack of hair.
Jokes about jobs 👨⚕️👩🏫
- Why are electricians always calm? Because they don't short circuit!
- Why are hairdressers good musicians? Because they know how to split hairs.
- Why do astronauts never tell lies? Because they always have their heads in the stars.
- Why are bakers always tired? Because they get up early!
- What does a surgeon say to his patient after the operation? – Did it take your breath away?
Jokes about everyday objects 📱🎒
- Why are books shy? Because they always have a cover.
- Why is the bed always late? Because it's always made.
- What does a table do when it's angry? It slams its feet.
- Why don't computers like jokes? Because they take everything literally.
- Why is the calendar always tired? Because its days are numbered.
Jokes about parents 👨👩👧👦
- Why do dads always tell bad jokes? Because they have the "dad joke" license.
- Why are moms the best detectives? Because they always find everything, especially what we hide.
- Why do parents love chocolate so much? Because it's their means of survival!
- What's the worst thing for a parent? Not having children to scold.
- Why are moms always right? Because they have a built-in "mommometer."
Sports Jokes 🏀⚽
- Why are footballers bad at math? Because they spend their time dribbling numbers.
- Why don't boxers ever play chess? Because they always hit first.
- Why do marathon runners never argue? Because they prefer to take a step back.
- Why does the tennis player never eat soup? Because he always has his serve!
- Why are swimmers comedians? Because they are always one step ahead.
Jokes about countries and travel ✈️🌍
- Why do mountains never travel? Because they don't want to lose their summit.
- Why are planes always quiet? Because they are above the clouds.
- Why do vacationers love the beach? Because they are always at high tide.
- Why does the Eiffel Tower never fall? Because it has a good base.
- What does a Spaniard say when he stumbles? – Olé!
Weather jokes ☀️🌧️
- Why do clouds like to play hide and seek? Because they love to disappear.
- Why doesn't the sun ever do sports? Because it shines enough already!
- Why do lightning bolts love arguments? Because they always set things on fire.
- Why doesn't snow like summer? Because it melts in the heat.
- Why are storms always angry? Because they have bad wind.
Jokes about colors 🎨
- What is the favorite color of divers? Navy blue.
- Why doesn't red and green get along? Because they are always opposed to traffic lights.
- Why is yellow a great friend? Because it always shines brightly.
- Why do colors never strike? Because they want to stay in the frame.
- Why is purple mysterious? Because it is always in the shadow of red and blue.
Absurd (and really bad) jokes 🤣
- Why don't apples ever make phone calls? Because they don't have a network.
- Why are goldfish bad at math? Because they go around in circles.
- Why is toilet paper a great psychologist? Because it can absorb problems.
- Why don't snails like fast food? Because they prefer dishes that last.
- What does a lemon say when it gets hurt? – It stings!
Superhero Jokes 🦸♂️🦸♀️
- Why does Superman never play poker? Because he always has a cape!
- What does Batman say when he goes shopping? – I'm going to the supermarket.
- Why is Spider-Man bad at computers? Because he's always making webs!
- Why can't Hulk play hide and seek? Because he's too obvious!
- What's the worst thing about Flash? Being late!
Jokes about numbers and figures 🔢
- What does the zero say on the eight? – Did you wear a belt?
- Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
- What is a cat's favorite number? 4 (cat-four).
- Why is math never sad? Because it always has solutions!
- What is the favorite number of divers? 100 (diving).
Jokes about love ❤️
- Why does Cupid have a bow? To aim straight at the heart.
- What does a flower say to another flower? – You make me blush, petal!
- Why are hearts bad at hide and seek? Because they beat too fast!
- Why are candles romantic? Because they always create a soft atmosphere.
- Why are lovers always late? Because they are in the moon.
Jokes about night and sleep 🌙
- Why is the moon tired? Because it stays up all night.
- Why do sheep count humans before going to sleep? For a change!
- What does a pillow say to a duvet? – You’re lucky, you’re always warm!
- Why are alarm clocks evil? Because they always interrupt dreams.
- Why does the sun never sleep? Because it doesn't want to lose light.
Science Jokes 🔬
- Why are atoms never alone? Because they always have bonds.
- Why is oxygen the favorite element of divers? Because they always need it!
- Why are astronauts good at math? Because they are always calculating their trajectory.
- What does a scientist say when he fails an experiment? – Well, that’s a normal reaction!
- Why do chemists like jokes? Because they always have a reaction!
Animal Jokes (continued) 🐼
- Why are pandas always black and white? Because they can't choose just one color.
- Why do chickens cross the road? To show they are not chickens!
- Why are bees great at dancing? Because they do everything in rhythm!
- Why are turtles slow? Because they always take their time.
- Why do cats like to sit on keyboards? Because they want to write their own stories.
Jokes about vegetables and food 🥦
- Why are carrots good for your eyesight? Because you've never seen a rabbit with glasses.
- What does a potato say when it has a problem? – I have a potato in a mess!
- Why do tomatoes turn red? Because they saw the salad undress.
- Why are spaghetti always in a good mood? Because they are happy in their sauce!
- What does a mushroom do when it's happy? It dances on its foot!
Absurd and really bad jokes (again 😆)
- Why don't fish like elevators? Because they prefer water currents.
- Why do the stairs never work? Because they are always out of order.
- Why do whales sing underwater? Because they perform underwater concerts.
- Why don't turtles play soccer? Because they always stay on defense.
- Why does the wind never have any friends? Because it blows everyone away!
Jokes about weird objects 🎒
- Why doesn't the fridge ever talk? Because it's always cold.
- Why don't watches ever fall in love? Because they always tell the time!
- Why don't pens like math? Because they hate making lines.
- Why did the eraser leave the notebook? Because it was tired of erasing mistakes!
- Why do mirrors never go on vacation? Because they must always reflect the truth.
Jokes about movies and series 🎬
- Why are cinemas always in the dark? To see the light better.
- What does a vampire say when he comes out of the cinema? – I loved this biting story!
- Why are actors always late? Because they have to play a role.
- Why don't directors like surprises? Because they want to script everything!
- Why are popcorns loud? Because they pop with joy!
Computer and Technology Jokes 💻
- Why are keyboards always stressed? Because we're always typing on them!
- Why are computer mice sad? Because we move them all the time.
- Why do printers never laugh? Because they are always out of ink.
- Why are computer servers bad cooks? Because they don't know what to do with files.
- Why do hackers never go to school? Because they hack everything!
Okay, here are the rest of the jokes up to 500! 😄🚀
Jokes about everyday objects (continued) 📱
- Why are coffee cups always full of energy? Because they have caffeine in them!
- Why is the sofa a good confidant? Because it is always there to support us.
- Why are windows good spies? Because they always have one eye open.
- Why are alarm clocks the worst enemies of sleepers? Because they interrupt their sleep in the middle of the action.
- Why are pens jealous of pencils? Because pencils can always correct themselves.
Animal Jokes (Again 🐶🐱)
- Why don't lions like riddles? Because they roar before they get the answer!
- Why do sheep like math? Because they count well.
- Why are snails bad delivery people? Because they take forever to deliver a package.
- Why are dolphins good students? Because they swim in knowledge.
- Why are giraffes the best at giving advice? Because they always take a step back.
School Jokes (continued) 🎓
- Why doesn't the gym teacher ever play chess? Because he prefers to move rather than think!
- Why did the student put his homework in the fridge? So that it would stay fresh for the next day!
- Why are colored pencils friends with math? Because they like to draw shapes.
- Why don't students like Monday? Because it's the end of the weekend... and the beginning of problems!
- What is the height of irony for a history teacher? Not to remember the past.
Food Jokes (continued) 🍔🍕
- Why does bread love baths? Because it likes to be nice and wet.
- What does one pizza say to another pizza? – You're well-stocked today!
- Why is butter afraid of the sun? Because it melts under pressure.
- Why are candies happy? Because they have a sweet life.
- Why does soup never get angry? Because it always stays liquid.
Absurd jokes (always more 🤪)
- Why does the sea never answer the phone? Because it is always busy making waves.
- Why don't shoes ever go to the movies? Because they don't want to be flat!
- Why are bridges good friends? Because they always support us.
- Why do clouds never go on vacation? Because they always have something on their heads.
- Why do statues never speak? Because they are frozen in place.
Jokes about jobs (continued) 👩⚕️
- Why does the baker always tell the same jokes? Because he finds them juicy.
- Why don't doctors like comedies? Because they prefer serious diagnoses.
- Why are bankers good friends? Because they always pay attention to you.
- Why are painters always calm? Because they step back from the canvas.
- Why are plumbers never late? Because they fix everything right now.
Jokes about parents (continued) 👨👩👧
- Why are moms the best detectives? Because they always find what we hide.
- Why do dads love telling lame jokes? Because they have the "Dad Jokes" certificate.
- Why are babies the best negotiators? Because they always get what they want by crying.
- Why are grandmothers always happy? Because they have seen and experienced everything.
- Why are dads bad at riddles? Because they always give the answer too quickly.
Holiday jokes 🌴
- Why do suitcases love to travel? Because they are restless.
- Why are tourists always happy? Because they are in "pause" mode.
- Why is the sea so relaxing? Because it rocks us with its waves.
- Why do planes always fly high? Because they want to touch the stars.
- Why do umbrellas never get a tan? Because they always stay in the shade.
Number Jokes (continued) 🔢
- Why is the number 7 a great actor? Because it always plays the leading role.
- Why is the number 10 always calm? Because it stays on top.
- Why is 1 always alone? Because it doesn't like duplicates.
- Why is the 8 the most athletic? Because it has a beautiful silhouette.
- Why are numbers friends with letters? Because together they form equations.
Absurd jokes over and over again 🤣
- Why don't forks like knives? Because they're afraid of cuts!
- Why do cars never sleep? Because they are always on the road.
- Why are flags proud of themselves? Because they always stand straight.
- Why are mirrors narcissistic? Because they only look at themselves.
- Why are traffic lights stressed? Because they change their minds every second.
Jokes about seasons 🌦️
- Why is winter a good hide-and-seek player? Because it always disappears in spring.
- Why is summer always late? Because it likes to take its time.
- Why is autumn melancholy? Because it sees its leaves fall.
- Why is spring joyful? Because it brings smiles.
- Why is rain romantic? Because it makes the sky cry.
Animal Jokes (continued) 🦁🐰
- Why are owls so smart? Because they never do owl-owl.
- Why are snakes good spies? Because they are good at sneaking.
- Why do dolphins laugh all the time? Because they always have a joke up their sleeve.
- What does a cow say to a sleeping cow? – Wake up, you're on the moon!
- Why don't elephants ever play hide and seek? Because they're too easy to see!
Jokes about everyday objects (continued) 📺
- Why is the toaster afraid of water? Because it might burn!
- Why are pillows good friends? Because they know how to keep all the secrets.
- Why does the door never go on a journey? Because it always remains on its hinges.
- Why are mirrors in a bad mood? Because they reflect too much of themselves.
- Why do socks always disappear in the machine? Because they have a secret life.
School Jokes (continued) 📖
- Why are geography teachers good guides? Because they know the world by heart!
- Why do students love recess? Because they are finally free!
- Why is the history teacher always on time? Because he doesn't want to miss an important event.
- Why is math bad for friendship? Because it has too much division!
- Why do students always write slowly? Because they take their time… literally.
Don't hesitate to share these jokes with your friends to spread some good humor! 😄